A Year Ago Dec. 17-18,2011

So this is when it gets scary.  2:00am Mr. wakes me up by banging on the wall. He can’t talk.  I call my parents and my neighbor…..I don’t call 911?!?!? I have learned that if your hubby can’t talk just call 911.  But, this is what I did…..

My Dear Neighbor comes over and helps me get Mr. in the car.  It felt like it took 2 hours I think it was about 15 minutes.  He is weak,he is not able to talk. (Now, if you ask him he was able to tell us how cold he was, etc.)  I leave my neighbor at my home on her knees praying and begin driving to the local ER.  So, this is how my brain was working….I was thinking I need people to meet me at the entrance of the ER (just like any typical ER show) so THIS is when I decided to call 911.  The much smarter man on the phone advised me to pull over and an ambulance will meet us.  I had just passed our local fire department so they were there in about 1.5 minutes.   So, here we are on the side of the road, putting my best friend, my rock in the back of an ambulance.   I still had not a clue how serious this was.  This one of the many things that helped him to have a chance….you see I was taking him to a local hospital that was not set up for true ER emergencies.  I did not know that.  This 911 call took him to Plano Presby.  A hospital that was more equipped to handle a case like Dan’s.

My mom pulls up to the ambulance and fire truck on the side of the road.  This was not planned, but a life saver for me.  We took my car and parked it at a local school and then we were off.  I have no clue what was said.  I just remember wanting to get there.  I wished I was in the ambulance.  We got there and waited for the ambulance.  When Mr. arrived, I could not find him in the ER rooms…..this was my first *crap* moment…..he was in the ICU ER room.  I did not know that room existed.  

The room  was full of Doctors and Nurses asking me questions…..Does he have diabetes?  Has he traveled outside the country?  What surgeries has he had? When did he begin showing symptoms?  Have you been in contact with him?  Have your children been in contact with him?

Then I looked up and they are all in head to toe coverings…..face mask, suits, etc.  This is my second *crap* moment.  I do remember my Mom and I looking at each other....like "oh sh**"......

In all the movement, I sat by the side answering questions.  I prayed.  I prayed.  I prayed.  Then the doctor pulled me in the hall.

In this moment. what I remember the most is the eyes of all the medical teams when then looked at me.  They had sadness and worry.  Their faces were positive, their words were reassuring, but their eyes……This is my third *crap* moment.  Then the doctor started talking.   I think my mom was with me, but I don’t know.  He said words like; spinal tap, cancer, meningitis, call the family.  I just kept asking he will be ok right…..the answers I got did not make me feel any better. “We are doing all we can.” *crap, crap, crap*

So, I went to the family room to sit.  I gave my mom and friends the task of calling family.  Mr. was going up to ICU.  What?!?!  ICU?!?!?  He is a healthy strong man.  He is my man. My best friend, my rock, the father to our children.  Then I prayed.  My prayer was of a healing blanket that would cover him.  I did it again, and again, and again.

I had a moment of true peace. Words can not describe it, and I am not a talented artist, so you are just going to have to trust me.  I knew that we would be ok.  Now, let me say I had not a clue what ok was….just that we were walking this with God.  God is good…..everyday.  I was in a state of numbness/peace that would carry me through the next 2 weeks.  Especially the next 2 days. I had a waiting room full of dear friends and family that made me eat, that hugged me, that allowed me to laugh and cry, and most importantly kept my iphone away from me so that I did not understand the battle that Dan was facing.  

Perspective:  Always call 911.  Don't pretend you are living in a TV show, you are not.  TV shows are fake.