Cancer sucks.

So, one of the angles of this world has gone home to heaven.  As I write this I am still in total denial.  She had a laughter that would bring joy into your soul.  She was a wife, a mom, a daughter, a friend, an aunt, a true children's advocate.  She was real.  I could get angry with her, laugh with her, get deep with her, and it was all ok.

She was a wonderful educator; she helped form both of my boys into wh othey are today.  You know in my tears,that is what I can hang on to.  Her legacy is alive in my children.  Her silly prayers and songs are alive in my house. My family’s life has been blessed by her sweet spirit and will continue to be blessed by her every day. I am sad. I am mad.

It was telling my children that I dreaded the most.  Slick sobbed quietly.  Mr. Determined said, “You know she is dancing and laughing in heaven.” with a sparkle of memory and sadness in his eye.  The angel that heaven was given today is a gift to all of us.  It is how I make sense of a situation that just sucks. 

I hold on to my Bible verse that is like myblanket of peace,  Philippians 4: Rejoicein the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your gentleness be known toeveryone. The Lord is near. Do not worry about anything, but in everything byprayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known toGod. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard yourhearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whateveris honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing,whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anythingworthy of praise, think about these things. Keep on doing the things that youhave learned and received and heard and seen in me, and the God of peace willbe with you."

I have not lived in the moment to have true Perspective.   Sometimes you need time for Perspective.