How has seminary changed me?

So, I was thinking about the world this week, the terror, the hurt, the pain.   It made me reflect on my past 2 years in school and how it has changed how I view life.

Seminary is not for the faint of heart, it is a constant pull on your faith, your brain, your life.  But, I must say that it has made me weaker at times but as a whole it is transforming me into a stronger person.

I at times have wished that I would have done this about 10 years ago.  That would have given me more time for school.  But, I do think that more time for school would have given me to much time to think.   Honestly.

I am glad that my world is full.  I am glad that I am doing this schooling with a husband, with children, with friends who are outside of my schooling.  I think if I would have done this 10 years ago I would find myself trapped in a world of Theology.  I would think to much.

 I have a love/hate relationship with the time that school takes. The readings are deep and at times  rock my world.  But, I can't stay in that place.  I have the opportunity not only to be a student, but also to be a wife, a mother, and a friend, serving a local church.  It gives me perspective on what I am learning that I would not have had 10 years ago.  I get the opportunity to read things from the perspective of

•  a mother
•  a person who allows myself to questions faith and religion
•  a wife
• a friend
• a person who is currently serving a local church

These perspectives make me get of of the deep pool of theology and live my life.

Now, I am in no way saying that the students in school who are young and single are being cheated.  They are not at all.   They are doing this in the time that is right for them.

Yet,I am thankful for the study time at the soccer practices that gave me great in site of others who are not in class with me.

I am thankful for the questions and conversations that happen when I am at the baseball fields watching a game.

I am thankful for the moments when I talk with my children about faith and theology.  They keep me real.

I am thankful for Mr's perspective on my class topics.

I am glad that I am doing this when I am 36 and my life is crazy full.  It is in this fullness that I am getting so much more out of school.

Ok, I have a paper to write and I need to get it done so that I can watch a movie with my family tonight.

So, how has seminary changed me?

Simply....when I see tragedy, I also now see hope.  In darkness I see light.   Some days that light is brighter than others, but I now look for it.

P.S.- oh and I totally know the definitions of: exegesis, transcendence,apocalypticism,  Documentary Hypothesis, and so many other words that I don't really use in my 'real' life.  I also know who Bart, Kierkergaard, Aquinas, and other people who I never really knew existed.  ;-)

That @#&%#* bowling ball

So, in January I posted about my gradual (but nice and steady) weight gain.  It is 16 pounds (depending on the day and the scale....some days it is 20). See Blog Here. 

It is now March and I am embarrassed to say....I am still carrying that silly ball and with me all the time.

Let's just round it up to 20 pounds...why not?  ug.....

UG.   I have a new plan and so far this week it seems to be working.  I am counting my calories (My fitness pal) and I am walking.  So, I am just actually DOING my original plan. 

You see this became gradual progression from a work out all the time-to miss a few days, to once a week, to NEVER. I have not been at the gym in 2 months.

How?

Well you see I have the type of personality that I need to do it strong and ALL or what is the point? 

The point is that going to the gym 2 times a week is much better than 0.  (I was going 4-5 days a week. )

The point is that going for a walk is better than NOT going for a run.

The point is that I need to take care of me.  I feel icky, I don't like the way my clothes fit (most of them don't) and I really don't like pictures of me.

I had 4 people pat my belly on Easter Sunday and I don't have a cute baby in it.  I also have 3 chins in this picture. This dress is also really cute, but 2 sizes bigger than it should be.....

So, I now have a plan.  I am no longer just talking and writing about it I am doing something about it.

I will loose 2 pounds a week and by June I will be back to where I need to be.

I will do this by:

-writing down everything that goes in my mouth
-going to the gym 2 days a week (this will increase but it is my starting point)
-walking 2 days a week (this will turn into a jog, but hey got to start somewhere)
-cutting out most sugars
-being accountable with friends and family.
- I am also going to try out Yoga. :-)

Ok, so now you know.   If you would like friend me on My Fitness Pal or on Striiv (counts my steps) please do!

Perspective:   Staying healthy takes work and commitment, just as other things in my life that I care deeply about.  So, I need to give myself the time and attention that I give my family, work and school.  It really is that Simple. 

Quiet Moments

Last night I was apart of a very moving Worship Experience.   The music was grand, the scripture was grand the sermon was grand.  But, the most moving part of the service was sitting at a table of 12 and serving communion to each other.


I participated with:

• a group of 12 giggling girls that were somewhat worried they would do it wrong.  The group got very quiet during the time of prayer. It got real.

• groups of mostly strangers that passed the bread and cup around the table and became new friends with the meal.

• A young woman helping a senior woman down the steps of the church.

• children that served communion to their mother and siblings.

It was a very powerful experience for me.  I was honored to be a part of it! 

Perspective:   It was in the quiet moments of the service last night that again reminded me that those are the moments to pay attention to.  The quiet moments are the real moments that shows us the most about life, about others.  Enjoy the quiet moments....notice them!

Keeping it Real: As I was writing this Slick came in the office and was blasting Taylor Swift...I got to look at him and say, I am writing about quiet moments.....get out!  :-)

CONTROL!!!!

So, the class schedule came out for Fall 2013.  

 I became obsessed.  I read it, I studied it, I figured out that I only need 6 classes now to graduate.   I figured out that when you only need 6 classes the schedule really dictates me, I do not dictate it.  That does not go well with my “Type A” personality.  So, I found myself finding ways to obsess.   I could switch this class for that, I could do this, I could do that.   I found myself finding ways to find control.   In all honestly I gave up hours of my day/week that I can never get back.   Why?  I was searching for control.  I  took something really simple and turned it into a HUGE project.  

 This answer was simple.  I need 6 classes.  Pick 2.  Be done.

 

I find myself doing this in all aspects of my life.  I want to feel in control.  I want to make sure that life is all in order.  

 

Now, it is important to have some control and some focus, but it is also important to be able to let go and let life happen.   It is amazing when you:

- stop and talk to your neighbor even though you have laundry in side.

- drop a coffee off to a friend even though you are on your way to work (and your alarm did not go off). 

- You hug and kiss your other half when they come home even though you are busy writing a paper.

-You put down your to-do list and play some baseball even though you have never really liked the game.  

- you listen to the stranger who begins talking to you and needs someone to listen even though you are really busy and have enough friends.

- go fishing even though it is time for dinner (you might just catch a huge bull frog)

 

You know what happens? 

 You build relationships.  You let life happen.  You find your self smiling and not stressing (as much).  

Perspective: This blog entry is written for myself today.  I woke up stressed, and then had a chat with a neighbor on the way to school, I got a sweet email from a new friend, I kissed Mr. before he went to work.  I made a yummy cup of coffee.  You know what.- I already feel better about my day.  Enjoy yours.  Have some fun.  Do some work.  and SMILE!

Girl's Weekend!!!!

So, this weekend my SFA gals are coming into town and we are going to PARTY.


Now, when I say PARTY I mean: eat, get our nails done, have a nice dinner, do some shopping, and laugh until our faces hurt.

 I have known these ladies longer that I have my hubby.  We knew each other as young 18 year old's: making stupid decisions, being home sick, breaking up with boys, stressed about exams, worried about a zit on the day of a formal, etc.   At our apartment in 1997:  

1997

Yes I have on overalls and C has on a Bennie.   We are so cool.

 

We are so skinny so I had to post it and red lipstick was totally in.

We have now been at each others weddings, dried tears for each others tears through; miscarriages, surgeries, ICU, moves, the good the bad and the ugly. I can say in all honesty we find a way to laugh and be 18 year old girls just living in the dorm in most of these situation. At my wedding:

My Wedding.

But, now that we all live in different cities and we all have kids, and we all have crazy busy lives, it is so wonderful to have 3 days that are just for us. Our weekend in 2010:

2010

2011

 

And with families and some moves around the country we have missed a year or two.  But, not this year.  Nope this year begins in about 4 hours.

Every year we plan for the next year....it at this point takes a color coded excel document to make it happen.


 I will say there is something powerful about a friendship that begins in college.   We know things about each other that many of our adult friends don't know.  I am not saying they are some deep secretes that we all keep for each other, but we have been a part of each others lives for so long it is so nice just to be with people who just KNOW who you are.  

 We don't have to see each other every day or talk on the phone every week.  We have 3 days a year.  They belong to us. So, have a great weekend and call an 'old' friend and say hi!  You won't regret it!


P.S.:  I found this picture of Mr. He is super cute!  I should totally marry that guy!    :-)


P.S.S.-  This is what my boys will be doing: